Does he seem emotionally distant? Is he really busy or just making excuses? Is he losing the spark he once had for you? If you’re like most women, you’ve spent more than a few minutes wondering why men pull away, especially when things seem to be going great.
One of the most important things to do when he pulls away from you is to keep a level head. After all, it’s not the end of the world. It is well within your power to re-establish a deeper connection with a man, and even make him chase you for it – if you know what to do.
Unfortunately, when faced with the challenge of a man becoming distant, many women overreact. If you make this mistakes, you can come across as needy or even controlling. It’s important to understand that this triggers a red flag for almost all men, and only causes them to distance themselves even further.
In this article, you’re going to learn:
- The top 3 reasons why men pull away
- Exactly what to do when you sense him becoming distant (in 4 simple steps)
Why Men Pull Away
One of hardest parts of dealing with a guy distancing himself is not knowing what’s really going on in his head. Understanding the mind of a man will make it much easier for you to maintain your feminine power and regain control of the situation.
Here are the top 3 reasons why he might be pulling away:
1) He Needs to Feel Independent
Women highly value the relationships that we hold. So do men, but men also tend to place more emphasis on independence and achievement. This is influenced both biology and his peers, so don’t expect to change this character trait anytime soon.
Whenever a man feels his independence is threatened, he feels the instinctual need to withdraw from you.
2) It’s Something You Did
There’s nothing worse than realizing that the reason he’s pulling away from you is because of something you said or did. Perhaps you are coming across as too clingy, or maybe you did something that makes it hard for him to see a future with you.
If it’s something that you did, the most important thing is to admit it to yourself so you can quickly move on to winning him back over.
3) He’s Not Relationship Ready
Some guys seem like they have it together on the outside, but are really just covering up the little man inside that is not yet ready for a relationship. If the guy in question is not displaying signs he wants a relationship, then it’s possible that you should be looking for other options.
Now that you know the top 3 reasons why men pull away, you can move on to winning him back (and even getting him to chase you)!
What to Do When He Pulls Away
1) Give Him Space
It may be counter-intuitive to give a man space when he’s pulling away from you, but it’s an absolute must. You can’t force your way back into his heart, and trying to do so will only cause him to shut down further.
Giving space is not the same as ignoring him. Don’t try too hard to play it cool, or you will risk missing out on your opportunity to reconnect with him. When he makes an effort to get close to you again, even in small ways, reward him for his efforts.
2) Make It His Choice to Pursue You
Have you ever seen a little boy do something just because his mommy told him not to? This is called “reverse psychology”. Even when little boys grow up to be big men, this part of our psychology still remains.
I’ll be the first to admit that us guys want what we can’t have. Let him want you by making yourself a bit distant as well. This is one of the most powerful ways to keep him interested in you. At this point, he will start to feel like he’s losing you. This is the phase where he is likely to start reaching out to you again in small ways.
3) Keep Him Guessing
There is nothing less attractive to a guy than the idea of a woman sitting around the house all day moping about him.
Shatter his expectations by living life to the fullest. Plan a girls night out, try out that new dancing class, or go on a mini-vacation. Don’t be shy about posting pictures to social media. He will see you living your life to the fullest, and he’ll want in on the fun.
4) Reconnect With Him
By now, it is likely that he will have already reached out to you. When he does, make sure to encourage more connection by rewarding every effort he makes. Make sure that, as you become closer again, you still maintain your level-headedness and independence, and allow him to do the same.
On the off chance that he hasn’t reached out to you in any way by now, know that it is totally acceptable for you to reach out to him. Don’t make the assumption that he’s not interested in you anymore. He could just be intimidated by you, or dealing with family issues. Or maybe he doesn’t want to appear too needy himself!
If it still doesn’t work out, you may just have to cut your losses and move on. Hey, at least you and him didn’t get matching tattoos… Did you?
Now you know the reasons why men pull away, and you’ve empowered yourself with a simple 4-step plan that you can put into action whenever you need. If you follow these steps when he pulls away from you, you will likely find that he returns to being that compassionate, open person that he was before.
Want to help other women in the community? Share your experiences with a man pulling away in the comments below.