Men are like a choose-your-own-adventure book: We’re hard to read. It can especially be frustrating when you’re worried that he might lose interest in you. While worrying isn’t going to help you, learning how to keep him interested so he can’t wait to get your texts or see you in person is in your control – and it’s easier than you might think! Following these simple but effective tips can help ensure that his interest remains on the most important person: you.
How to Keep Him Interested
1) Maintain Your Own Life
How boring would it be if you knew everything about that guy you like already? This goes both ways: As special of a snowflake as you are, he, too, will feel bored if he knows everything about you! Maintaining a healthy amount of time apart is a great way to keep a guy interested in you.
Additionally, having your own interests tends to spark new interests in his life. For example, he may trade an evening on the couch for a new yoga class just because he observes how much you enjoy it. But this will never happen unless you develop your own yoga schedule first.
Giving him the opportunity to make a choice of what he wants to be involved in gives him the power of having a choice. When he has a choice, he feels in control, and when he feels in control, he’s more comfortable around this interesting woman (you!). Perhaps comfortable enough to get into an uncomfortable position at your next yoga class, which takes us to our next point…
2) Take Care of Your Appearance
Women find comfort knowing that their man can take care of themselves. A lot of that can be evident simply by how he maintains his appearance. This works both ways. If he has you on his arm, it’s because he wants you there. Would you want to tote around a guy who looks like he got dressed in the dark and his shower is broken? Nope. Humans like pretty things around them, with them, and on them 😉
Take mental notes of that dress he liked, if he mentioned your hair looked good draped to one side, or if he commented on a shade of lipstick. If you’re turning heads, he will notice. A man wants to be protective of his woman as well as proud of her. Giving him reasons to be for both with definitely keep him interested.
3) Welcome New Experiences
Variety is the spice of life, and exploring outside of your comfort zone is the only way to expand it. For instance, some flavors of ice cream may be a little exotic or only for particular pallets… But you never know until you’ve tried it! Take this same philosophy and apply it to your life to keep your blossoming relationship fresh and keep him wanting more.
If you show him that you are willing to try new things with him, he will feel like you’re investing in him, and this will make him want to invest in pursuing you. Trying new things on a regular basis is a leap of faith that shows a level of trust. More than going to new restaurants and trying new flavors of ice cream, this can be applied to the bedroom as well. Don’t be shy to suggest something new!
New experiences can be exciting and open doors you didn’t realize were even there! Just keep the ice cream out of the bedroom… or don’t 😉
4) Let Out Your Inner Adrenaline Junkie
If you want to keep a man, sometimes you’re going to have to get a little crazy. I’m not talking bat-shit-Kanye-West crazy, but adventurous and fun crazy. Bungee jumping, roller coasters, and rock climbing can all be heart-pounding experiences.
Doing activities together that increase your adrenaline while also increasing your arousal can bring out a strong connection and gets the blood pumping to all the right places as well. In fact, according to Mic.com, science supports the idea that there is a biological link between adrenaline and arousal. This means that couples who do exciting things together remain attracted to each other for longer. So make sure to plan fun, exciting dates that keep him interested – and you as well!
Or for those who are feeling especially risqué: Surprising that guy you like with intimacy in a hidden (but still public) place can bring about a brand new level of excitement. Anyone who has had this experience can testify that the thrill of possibly getting caught is something you both experience together and can add a sexy new dynamic to your relationship. Fortune favors the bold so if you’re feeling brave, this could be for you. Of course, rollercoasters are fun, too…
5) Befriend His Friends
Becoming friends with your guys’ friends is a fast-track to earning his total acceptance and interest. However, don’t be a “friend-poacher”. The only competition you have with any many you’re interested in should be in the bedroom. Don’t try to complete with his friends because men, just like women, hold council with their friends to air grievances. And just like women, the approval of the pack is very important when it comes to keeping his interest.
Make yourself an ally and not a threat. Be social and get involved. Don’t be window-dressing. Getting along with his friends is an excellent indicator to a guy that you are worth further investigation. Don’t try to be “one of the guys”; he already has them. Instead, just being an example of an awesome lady not only shows he has good taste, but his friends may have just gained a very valuable resource; an insider’s point of view of how they can score a girl as good as you.
6) Give Yourself – and Him – Space
Don’t you just love it when a man is always calling, messaging, texting and basically trying to sit in your lap 24/7? Well, neither do guys. Everyone needs space and an important part of him wanting to see you, is him actually WANTING to see you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so taking that to heart will do you both some good. It lets him know that you want him, but you don’t need him. If he’s with his friends, don’t text every ten minutes. If you’re with your friends, don’t text every ten minutes. If he’s at work, HE’S AT WORK.
Whatever you do, do not be clingy. Clinging will imply that a potential relationship could end up being a full-time job, which is not what he wants. Even if you have a great time every time you are together, leave him wanting more, not burnt out. Hey, the McRib only comes around once in awhile, but when it does…
7) Let Him Pursue You
We all need a goal. We all aim for something. You need to BE that target. If a man truly wants something, he will go after it, and the thrill is very much in the hunt. The satisfaction of working towards a goal that remains just out of reach keeps people interested and driven to perform at their best.
If he is constantly pursuing you and ALMOST getting what he wants, then you are constantly in the presence of a man who is at his best. Driven, focused, but most importantly, interested (thirsty for you). Harvest that biological drive and see just how good of a man he can be. After all, you deserve the best. don’t you? Yeah, you do. And once you get the best, be sure to…
8) Show Appreciation
Everyone needs a pat on the back every once in awhile. A relationship takes work and everyone sacrifices something for the other person. Letting him know that you appreciate his efforts goes a long way for men and not only acknowledges his hard work, but it also drives him to keep at it and keep him interested in you.
A man will become confident in doing something he does well, and you are no exception. Telling him that you appreciate his efforts, or simply saying “thank you” can do the trick. If you’re an overachiever, surprising him with dinner, new lingerie, or no lingerie, is a great way of saying “keep up the good work”. And he will keep on doing just that.
9) Respect YourSELF
We all need to remember that we deserve to be treated with respect. No matter how interesting, attractive, or incredible a person is, if you’re being treated in a way that your gut says is wrong, it probably is. The golden rule is golden for a reason.
Sure, we can accommodate for each other, but if respect is a one-way street, change lanes. Have high expectations to shoot for, and if your man isn’t aiming high enough, let him know. If he’s worth your time, he will turn it around for you. You might even be surprised by his efforts. Who doesn’t like surprises?
10) Keep the Fantasy Alive
No matter how alike we all are as a species, there will always be things we don’t want to see/know/smell about each other. Yes, spending a weekend together in bed can be wonderful, but there are several unavoidable functions we should keep to ourselves, and for good reason.
You are living advertisement of yourself, and that guy you like is your number one customer. Keeping a customer happy and coming back is a lot easier to do when we put in that little bit of effort of keeping that fantasy real. Simple courtesies can go a long way when it comes to keeping him interested, and the benefit of a little privacy and mystery goes both ways. I’m sure you don’t want him going to the bathroom with the door open in front of you. Save that for marriage.
11) Get Deep
Men are supposed to be the tough ones, right? Big, emotional brick walls made out of leather and a lack of communication? It’s no secret that opening up can be difficult for people, so appreciating the fact that this man is opening up – or getting him to do so in the first place – is a great way for him to stay interested in you.
It’s tough to foresee when or where these conversations will happen. Serious talks should be treated as such and the middle of a loud bar at 2 a.m. might not be the ideal place to have them. However, bringing up conversation points that may start to get the gears in his head moving is a great place to begin. It can help you get a sense of where he’s at as well even if he isn’t saying it.
If he can view you as a safe space and can be trusted, now you have a man who is not only interested in you, but personally invested, and these are the bricks that build a quality relationship.
12) Avoid Petty Drama
No one likes to be around a sweaty person, so stop sweating the small stuff. Ever watch someone flip out and make a scene over nothing? That could be you. Wasting time, energy, and words on something insignificant is a huge red flag for ALL people. However, if you’re relaxed and he gets a sense of calm whenever he’s around you, that will definitely keep him interested.
If you show how upset you get over small things, he’s wondering how you’re going to handle the big stuff. If the small stuff is just a trigger for larger issues then communication needs to be better between both of you (see #11). That’s where those deep conversations come in. If there’s something serious to talk about, take it seriously. But if it’s something small that doesn’t deserve your energy or his, let it go.
13) Give Him Surprises
Ever been upgraded to first class? Find $20 in a jacket pocket? Aren’t surprises the best? The same applies to a relationship, humans love nice surprises. Putting thought into a surprise shows that you are putting thought into him, and when his happiness is a priority of yours, then he has yet another great reason to want to continue exploring a relationship with you.
The best part about surprising him is that he immediately begins to think about what he can do to surprise you. Surprise burrito? Always good. Back rub when he’s stressed? Perfect timing. No one else seems to be around? … You know what to do 😉 All of these can be rewarded ten fold. Besides, giving is really getting, so go get some!
14) Match His Commitment
You’re not a piece of pizza. He shouldn’t be able to call in and order you, especially if he’s still ordering from other restaurants as well. Unless he is willing to commit to you, then you shouldn’t feel obligated to commit to him. Self-respect is an attractive trait, and when a man realizes that you may not be there when he wants, then he is forced decide whether or not he wants to commit. Tomorrow is never a given, and you shouldn’t be either. Make him work for it until he deserves your commitment.
Leave the rocket science to the scientists. Once you know how to keep him interested in you, you’ll realize that it’s a lot easier than you think. Not only are you improving yourself but you are improving that interesting guy’s overall performance as a potential partner and making him a better option for YOU. Following these tips are a surefire way to finally keeping the interest you deserve from any guy you desire. Now go GET him!
Have you had any special success (or difficulty) keeping a man interested? Share your experience in the comments below!